By RaptorTalk


After the ugly blowout loss in New York City, which signalled the beginning of the end of the Raptors' playoff hopes, we got to thinking about the chilly Ed Sullivan Theater north on Broadway where the Late Show is taped. 

So with thanks to David Letterman - RaptorTalk is pleased to present our Top Twelve (not ten) Reasons the Toronto Raptors Suck This Season.

  "TOP TWELVE REASONS THE RAPTORS SUCK THIS SEASON"


#12. Matt Devlin’s hairspray is making game balls sticky

#11. Toronto. Where Losing Happens.

#10. Need Matt Bonner to give KG another smackdown

#9. Raptors coaches don’t break lamps anymore

#8. Who knew? Raptors were motivated by Swirsky’s lame nicknames

#7. In-game Team Water Bottles now sponsored by MGD and filled with draft beer

#6. Bryan goofed and built the best Raptors team ever ‘on paper’ – not ‘on the court’

#5. Raptors not making enough “shats" since Sam was fired

#4. Head of Scouting, Jim Kelly has naked pix of MLSE board

#3. Canadian Coach Triano is confusing American players by drawing up plays in metric

#2. Colangelo thought deadline deal was for Kobe O. Bryant - not Patrick.

#1. They think they’re the Leafs!